By Jacki McLenaghan
You may be reading the title and be thinking to yourself “Is this woman crazy?!” After all, isn’t revenge bad for you? We’ve all heard the saying “If you are plotting revenge then you should dig two graves.”
Well I beg to differ…
Having a plan can give you that zest for life, that pep in your step and that wondrous reason for popping out of bed each and every morning.
We’ve all had those that we’ve had personal or professional relationships that have introduced us those who choose to use, abuse, treat us unfairly or those we’d just like to murder in general.
Now they need to pay!
It’s the circle of life really. Now I suppose it’s not good for you to wallow in bitter seething anger, but taking back your power and utilizing a revenge plot for the good of all humanity…well that, I can get into.
Okay maybe I’m going over board by calling a revenge plot “good for human kind” but, we often want justice because we have been hurt and dis-empowered.
Your personal plot is more like a way gaining your dignity, self-respect and yes, your personal power back where it belongs…inside of you.
So how do you do this?
Below you will find a step-by-step guide on how to plan and execute a well thought out revenge plot.
First of all let me give you a small proviso….
Although we all need good friends with a shovel, tarp and a “can do” attitude, we really don’t want to be physically harming anyone. You will want to…of for the love of all that is holy, you will want to, but don’t. THAT will just land you in jail and it is exponentially harder to carry off justice when you are behind bars. You will have to join a gang and the red tape is endless.
Identify the degree of foul play that has been inflicted on you. Some self-discovery is needed here because as a revenge plottee, you must be confident within yourself and that starts with knowing who 1you are.
Before proceeding, ask yourself these simple questions:
- Am I over reacting to this situation?
- Will the target of my fury offer up an apology if confronted with their crimes?
- Can I maintain a high enough grudge level to get this shit done?
If you are not over reacting, you see no apology on the horizon, AND you have the stamina, then feel free to move on to step two.
List is great and gory details of all of their misdeeds in writing. This is very good for amping up your anger levels. It also has the side benefit of moving these travesties out of your cells and onto paper. Unfortunately this may alleviate your need to utter vengeance that is why you need to keep sharp. If your focus wans, you may begin to feel better and no longer want retribution, but if all goes according to plan, you can then move on to step three.
Identify their weak spots.
You must go for the juggler. (Not the guy who tosses balls in the air and skillfully catches them…but the large vein in your throat that will bleed a human dry if cut. ) Knowing your targets weak spots will help the planning process exponentially. You know what they say….if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
Think of all the ways you can use these weaknesses against said revenge recipient. It’s quite handy if you get a white board and some colorful dry erase markers. This is your time to shine…think outside of the box and get super creative. If you want to amp up the fun level you may want to enlist a friend or two for a fun evening of brainstorming. Two heads are always better than one. (Side note: Efficiency grows if you include wine in your brainstorming session)
This step is tricky. If all goes according to plan then a you probably will come to the sinking and unnerving realization that the very best way to stick it to these people is to live well!
GROSS! That is as unsexy as it comes!
Or is it… we can still make living well a completely diabolical process. What if you lived so well that your nemesis had to consistently suffer the utter torment of your unbounded success. What if everywhere they turned it was all cash, parties and favorable social media pictures. THAT is what needs to happen to completely pull this off without a hitch.
All good revenge plots must come to an end. At some point, no matter how hard we try, that we will not be able to keep up the burning fire alive. Those who have rented space in your head for so long will fade away into nothingness.
Happiness will resume. I’m sorry. As sad as that is, it is all part of the revenge life cycle. But don’t worry, the world is full of people who will piss you off and tomorrow always has the potential for a new revenge plot.