By Jacki McLenaghan
I had an amazing experience recently where I was hosting a speaker’s retreat and one of my keynote speakers was talking about mirror neurons. They are these funny little neurons inside of our brains that allow you to feel what other people feel. It’s called empathy.
When you are around people who are toxic and drag you down, these receptors pick this up and they start putting you into lowered states. When you are around compassionate and uplifting people, the effect is opposite and exponentially more positive.
This is not new information!
If we all know that we need to be around high quality people, then why do so many of us have users, losers and abusers in our lives?
The answer is that we may be people pleasers who are in need of some self-love of our own. We are not living to our highest potential because we are still accepting the crumbs of those who we want to please.
It is a good thing to want to make others happy, but it is NOT ok to allow others to tear you down. When we stay in these unhealthy environments for too long we lose the essence of whom we really are. This can cause a deep desire to retreat into hermitude or walk around with a helmet on.
Well there is a better way.
Today I strongly invite you to look at the people in your life, and with a serious eye and a brave heart, start to make some cuts.
Cut yourself off from those you use you, lie to you or treat you badly. They don’t love themselves and your real human words and emotions will be lost on their deaf ears.
YOU CANNOT CHANGE THEM!
If they can’t love themselves then they can’t love you.
On the flip side, I also suggest that you take a good look in the mirror and see how you are behaving in this world.
Commit to being the best you possible. Know that you can’t lift yourself up by tearing others down and that compassion; strength and flexibility will take you so much farther than jealousy and self-doubt.
Not to be cliché here, but the answer is love. Love yourself, respect yourself and pass that on to those who are worthy of your affections.